When the mind shatters into several parts, it takes a great amount of time and patience to put the pieces back together.  Most of the time the Multiple never completely recovers.  People associated with those possessing the condition need to understand how to relate with them.  These pages present parts of a book in progress: a book of Brian's experiences with two Multiples and the confusion it creates.

     The introduction is from my wife.  Originally, she and I were to write alternating chapters, giving an inside and outside view of the live and condition.  When She tried to write her view, the emotions overwelmed her.  I took what she wrote in the begining and used it as an introduction.  With that in mind, I will try giving her perspective as I write the areas.

 

* * * * *

 

 

 

Zandra's Introducation

 

 

“But Mom, I didn’t do it!”

 

 

 

 

“Dad, it wasn’t me!”

 

 

 

 

“I didn’t say that!”

 

 

 

 

“I would never do that!”

 

 

 

 

For much of my childhood I said these phases very often, strongly believing they were true.  I actually had no memory of doing many of the things for which I was blamed.  I always thought how unfair it was that people often blamed me for things I knew I had not done.

     It wasn’t until many years later that I discovered that I have a Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD).  It is also called Disassociative Identity Disorder (DID)

     You may have made similar statements yourself.  Maybe it was one of your children or a close friend who denied doing something you saw them do.  You may have thought to yourself, “This person is lying, I saw them do it.”  But; I can tell you from personal experience, as far as they are concerned; they are telling the absolute truth.  A multiple really has no memory of doing the things you are accusing them of.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Infinite Patience

Living with and as a Multiple

 

by Brian Zimmerman

 

 

That is a tiny hint of what it is to be a Multiple.  I'll attempt to give a better idea of the condition and what it is like living with them.  But first, I should elaborate on what is a Multiple.  As I will be referring to them as, Multiples are people who's mind had spit into separate distinct personalities.  Each of the personalities, or Alters, will have their own habits, memories and behavior.  If they interact with the outside world (outside being with us; you and I), their action may not be known to the main personality, the core person (see Glossary).

     What is presented here are a series of PDF files that are the progression of the book, very rough drafts for now.  At some time we, Zandra and I, hope to get it published, but in the mean time we are presenting parts of it here so people may see what it is like.  Those who read this may start to realize they may know someone with the condition and may be able to help them, or the reader sees it in themselves.

     There are many more people out there living as Multiples and not realize it, even very intimate relations can go on and neither of them would know.  That is the nature of being a Multiple and living with one.  So, the next time someone denies saying and doing things, consider that they truly do not remember anything.

     Everyone that I have conversation are amazed by the coincidence about being raised by one multiple and marrying another.  I was not aware my mother was Multiple until years after I married Zandra.

 

 

 
Opening Comments:  The book with a statement about the general layout. Due to the nature of Multiples, a straight chronological method is not possible.

Brian Meeting Zandra:  The circumstances around how I met Zandra and ended up marrying her.

Zandra's Alters: At any given time, there are thirty-five to forty-five Alters within Zandra's mind known. They split and merge as time goes by and therapy progresses. Keeping track is hard for those who live this her, let alone others trying to understand it all. With that in mind, I've provided a list of the Alters and some basic about them. The list will help when reading through the book parts.

Zandra's Life:  Soon to come. Since the parts of the book are grouped into related subjects, the outline of her life helps keep track of where the parts fit in. Deciding the layout was not simple. Since the Alters interact at seemingly random times, there influence is scattered. If I try to keep the book chronological, you would be hard pressed to comprehend any of it and you'd have to read it a few times to sort it out. There are confusing time for me. I try to make it less so for you.

Glossary: Soon to come. There are many terms I will be using on these pages and in the work that need a bit of explaining. Many are for the way I explain the condition. Professionals will have their own terms, but those seem inadequate and sterile at times or inaccurate during others. Besides, I am not trying to become a psychologist. I am trying to convey my experiences. So, these are the terms I'll use.

 

 

More to come.